I Touch Myself ADOPTED
by Iridescent Bellisle Cullen
Summary: Bella was supposed to be alone for the weekend, but there's been a change of plans. Rated M for SMUT. This was three chapters, but it is being continued.
1. Chapter 1

(A/N: The first three chapters of this story does not belong to me, but to **seamonkologist**. He/she allowed me to adopt this story, so everything from the fourth chapter onward will be my work.** Kudos to** **seamonkologist**! Enjoy!)

"You're sure you'll be okay by yourself?" Edward asks her again.

Bella rolls her eyes and I suppress a chuckle. "Yes, Edward, I'll be fine. Now you all go, have fun. I promise to stay away from all sharp corners and pointy objects. I'll probably just sit around reading until you get back on Sunday."

Edward, she'll be fine. Alice would have seen if anything was going to happen to her. He glanced over at me and nodded once. Turning back to her, he leans in to kiss her. The rest of the family and I slip out to the garage, giving them some privacy.

The Denail clan had called us a few days ago, wanting to meet up around the Canadian border for a weekend of hunting and catching up. We'd agreed, though Edward was reluctant to leave Bella, who had already planned on a "sleep over" with Alice for the weekend.

After some convincing from us and Bella, he'd finally relented, asking Alice repeatedly for hours if she saw Bella's furture change at all. According to Alice, the most exciting thing Bella was planning was bubble bath and a scary movie.

As Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper loaded into Emmett's Jeep, I helped Esme into the Mercedes.

Edward, we need to get going now. Give Bella our best and hurry it up.

I heard a faint growl from inside, then him wishing her goodbye and a safe, boring weekend.

"Those two are so cute together, aren't they?" Esme asks beside me.

I smile warmly over at the love of my existence. "They are. I'm glad that Bella has come into our lives. She's been so good for Edward."

We lean in and gently brush our lips together, pulling away when Emmett makes loud gagging noises from the Jeep beside us.

"Come on! You're our parents! Keep that private!" Rosalie slaps the back of his head, making him wince as I chuckle again.

Edward finally emerges from the house and hops into the backseat of the Mercedes, opting to ride with us rather than put up with the teasing as he mopes.

"She'll be fine Edward," I reassure him, putting the car in reverse and backing out of the garage. As I turn around and head down the driveway, Emmett dangerously close behind me, we hear Bella from the porch call out 'Have fun!'

The ride is more or less quiet for the three of us. Esme and I hold hands over the center console and light classical music plays. Edward sulks in the backseat.

"I am not sulking," he snaps at me.

"Edward, dear, it's okay to miss her while you're gone," my wife says. "Being away from your mate is hard. But Bella might enjoy a little alone time, and we'll be back on Sunday evening."

He sighs and straightens up in his seat. "I know. I just worry about her. She seems to get in trouble all the time. I worry about her being there alone all weekend. If Charlie hadn't gone for the weekend, I'd have made her go home."

She'd never have let that happen, I think. "Let's just not worry about it, okay?"

Before he can answer, my cell phone rings. I glance at the caller ID. The hospital. I answer it on the second ring.

"Carlisle Cullen."

"Carlisle, I'm sorry to bother you. I know you've requested the next few days off, but Dr. Katz has called in sick and we don't have any one else who can cover for him. Is there any chance at all that you'd be able to make it in?"

I sigh internally. I guess you don't have to worry, Edward. I'll watch over Bella this weekend. "I can come in." I pull over on the side of the road. Emmett pulls up behind me. I can hear them already asking Alice whats going on. "What time do you need me?"

"As soon as you can get here. You'll be working until midnight, if that's okay."

"That's fine. I'll be there soon." I exchange goodbyes and snap my phone shut. Turning to my wife, I give her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry dear. You know I can't say no to the hospital."

Returning my smile, she nods understandingly. "Of course. Would you like us to call the Denali clan and reschedule?"

"No, no. You all go and have fun. I'll run back, we're not that far yet." I look back at Edward. "Will you drive your mother?"

"Of course."

We hop out of the car as Emmett leans out the side of his massive Jeep. "Carlisle, come on. You're going to miss out on all the big game!"

"I have responsibilities, Emmett. You all go have fun. I'm going to run home. I'll keep Bella company this weekend."

"You sure will," Alice says. I look at her questioningly, but she just shrugs and turns to stare into Jasper's eyes. I can't help but smile at the love my children have found with one another.

Walking around to the passenger side of the car, I kneel down to be eye level with Esme. "Send everyone my best and let them know I'm sorry I couldn't see them."

"I will." Leaning out the window and pressing her lips to mine, we share a brief intimate moment, ignoring Emmett's childish antics this time. "I'll miss you," she says softly as we break apart.

"And I'll miss you." One last kiss and I stand, bidding everyone else a goodbye. After they pull away and head down the road once more, I turn and run back towards Forks. I'll just go straight to the hospital, I figure, letting Bella have as much alone time as possible.

At seven past midnight, I stride out of the hospital, waiting until I'm alone before taking off for home. It's late, and Bella is sure to be asleep. I'll just slip in and perhaps do a little reading, or work on some of the files I was planning on leaving for Sunday night.

The house is dark as I enter, the only sounds Bella's heartbeat and the sounds of her breathing. I head quickly into my study, closing the door, though I know I won't make enough sound to wake Bella.

I select a handful of files from my pile on my desk and set to work.

I'm just putting away my third file when I pause at noises from upstairs. Bella's heart begins pounding and I hear her groaning. She sounds like she's in pain. I drop my file and ghost up the stairs, my hand hovering over the doorknob to Edward's room when I hear, "Oh, yes."

Then the scent hits me.

For as long as Edward has been bringing Bella to our home, I've always noticed how sweet her blood smelled, but I'd never once craved it as the rest of the family had. Though pleasant, it didn't draw me to it.

But this scent was...heavenly. It was heady, tinged with Bella's natural floral scent. It was intoxicating. Bella was heavily aroused.

And if she was aroused, and alone, as she believed herself to be, then that must mean she was...

My own arousal shoots through my body, landing in my groin. I swallow thickly as I harden against my slacks.

You monster! This is your son's mate you're becoming aroused over!

But despite my brain yelling at me, I inhale deeply, taking in the scent again, even as Bella softly whimpers Edward's name from inside his room. She obviously does not know I am here. I step back, pressing myself again the wall across from the door. I can hear her panting lightly, the sounds of the bedsheets rustling as though she's writhing.

I close my eyes and am assaulted with the image of Bella, nude, writhing in pleasure, touching her smooth, young, warm body. She whimpers again and I harden even more. It's almost painful now. Stepping forward, I silently lean against the door, my nose near the seam between it and the door frame. Her scent becomes stronger and I greedily drink it in. Of it's own accord, my hand drifts down my body and presses against my erection, trying to relieve some of the pressure. It only futher arouses me.

"Oh Edward, please touch me," Bella begs into the silence.

I bite my lip to avoid the moan the threatens to fall from me. This is too much. I need to leave, but...I can't. I can't bring my legs to move, I can't pull myself away from this scent. So, with shame rushing through me, I make quick work of my button and zipper on my slacks, releasing my erection. I suck in another lungful of Bella's arousal, and a bead of fluid gathers at the head of my penis.

"I'm so wet for you. Taste me."

I close my eyes, wrapping my fist around my shaft and slowly pumping it up and down. I can hear her now, hear the sounds of her fingers moving against her slick flesh. With my eyes squeezed shut, I can almost see her. See her fingers dancing over the swollen bundle of nerves, spreading her arousal around, slipping between her folds.

"Ungh, yes," Bella moans. I hear her breath hitch and then her panting picks up its pace. "Oh fuck, yes."

Hearing the curse slip from between her lips is almost as erotic as hearing her moan and I glide my hand up and down my length faster. Her scent gets stronger, becomes more potent and I can tell she's nearing her orgasm. Her heartbeat is highly erratic now, her moans reverberating through the room. My hand is flying now, bringing me closer and closer to my peak as her moans turn to squeaks of pleasure.

Suddenly, Bella's breathing halts as she gasps out, "Oh fuck!" and I know she's climaxing. I frantically inhale her scent as I squeeze my shaft with one hand, imagining her wrapped around me, and cup my other hand over the head of my penis. releasing into my palm, fighting back a groan.

As Bella's breathing slows down and I hear her sigh in contentment, the reality of what I've done sinks in. I'm completely appalled with myself, horrified that I could debase my future daughter-in-law in such a manner. I quickly right my clothes and rush off to clean up. I shake my head at myself, entering my restroom to wash my hands. This absolutely can not ever happen again. And it will never be mentioned to any member of the family.


	2. Chapter 2

For the first time in a very, very long time, I was extremely nervous about talking with a human.

I'd paced the lower level of the house all night after my...experience on the third floor. I'd struggled with myself, resisting the urge to return to Edward's room, just to see if the scent lingered in the air.

Time and time again, I'd thought to myself What would Edward think of what you've done? This thought was always shortly followed by What would Esme think? You're her mate!

Throughout the night, I'd freeze whenever I heard Bella's breathing change or hear her moan. She murmured about Edward, and cried out once for Alice to drop the mascara.

Sometime around sunrise, a thought popped into my head that would have made me nauseous if I were capable of feeling that. Alice. Alice had seen it happen. That's what her cryptic little comment had meant. As soon as the thought was there, my phone was ringing. I dash to answer it, to prevent it from waking Bella.

As I pick it up, I hear, "That's not exactly what I meant, and yes, they will be mad, but ultimately, everyone will be okay. Let what happens, happen. Don't over think this one." And then she hung up on me.

What was that supposed to mean? Ultimately everyone will be okay? Let what happens happen? I'm so confused about all of this.

Then I heard Bella's breathing and heart rate change again, signaling that she was waking up. I listened raptly as she groaned, no doubt stretching out on the bed. Was her back arching, making her breasts rise up? I shake my head at my thoughts. This is so wrong.

Before she can come downstairs, I make my way into my study. Should I even let her know I'm here? She'd want to know she wasn't alone. Maybe I can say I came in this morning. But no, I don't like lying. Just go and make your presence know. Offer to make her breakfast. Be a good host.

I walk at human speed to the living room as she's padding lightly down the stairs. She jumps slightly at the sight of me.

"Carlisle! I thought you'd all be gone until Sunday. Is Edward back? He wasn't in bed with me." Her confusion is clearly etched on her face, even as she blushes at her admission that they share a bed. Not that we hadn't all known.

I give her a warm smile. "The others are still away. The hospital called and needed me, so I came back. I worked last night and will again be working tonight."

"Oh," she says, nodding. She's plainly disappointed that Edward hasn't returned yet. "I'm sorry you'll have to miss out on your fun weekend."

"I have plenty of time for fun weekends. Besides, now I can appease Edward and stay here to take care of you," I say. But as the words leave my mouth, my mind jumps to images of me taking care of her. Running my hands over her body, watching goosebumps raise in their wake. Trailing my mouth over her, tasting every inch of her flesh. Inhaling that beautiful aroma straight from it's source. I shake myself as I start to harden, and quickly turn to the kitchen. "Can I make you breakfast?" I ask. Anything to distract myself.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I was just going to have some cereal." Bella walks in beside in me, rummaging through the cabinets to prepare her breakfast.

As she pours her cereal and milk, settling in on a stool at the breakfast bar, I lean back against the counter furthest from her, but I can't take my eyes away as Bella stirs the cereal and lifts spoonful after spoonful to her mouth, her lips wrapping around the spoon to pull the vile smelling food from it.

After several bites, she notices me staring and blushes. "Um, so...what are you going to do today?" she asks.

I have the urge to just watch her all day, but I can't very well tell her that. "I'm not sure. Perhaps a little reading. Hunting maybe. I haven't fed in awhile, looking forward to this weekend."

She nods and goes back to conscientiously eating her cereal. I know I should stop staring, but I simply can't.

She eats the rest of her breakfast in silence while I continue to watch her. As she stands to take her bowl to the sink to wash it, she drops her spoon and bends over to retrieve it. I take in the site of her bent over and even as I feel myself hardening, I offer a quick "I'm going to go hunting now. I'll be back in a few hours." And then I bolt from the house.

After running for twenty minutes, I stop. What is wrong with me? How have I gone from only desiring my beautiful wife, to finding myself unable to control my body around Bella? And why now? She's been spending time at our house for almost a year now. Her and Edward are closer than ever.

I push the thoughts from my head and begin the hunt.

After completely satiating myself on blood, I decided to head home. It's only been an hour, but I want to get cleaned up and prove to myself that I am stronger than I think. I can easy put this whole Bella nonsense out of my head.

And I fully start to believe that until I reach the edge of our property. I hear the shower running on the third floor of the house, and I know Bella is in there. Nude. Wet.

I'm standing outside the bathroom door before I realize I've moved. I'm already hard as I move without thinking. I register the fact that what I'm doing is wrong. That I should stop before I do something I'll regret, but these thoughts are brushed aside as I hear Bella humming lightly to herself, I can hear her flip the cap of her shampoo and the scent of strawberries imbibes the air. The warm water makes her scent somehow more potent and I'm unable to stop myself from silently opening the door and slipping inside.

Pressed back against the bathroom door, I watch in rapt fascination through the fogged glass of the shower door as Bella washes her hair methodically. Through the haze, I follow the suds down her lithe body, memorizing each blurred detail.

Her humming continues as she rinses the shampoo out, following it up with conditioner. Once she's applied this to her hair, she moves on to wash her body. A bright pink loofah, ripe with sudsy body wash, is dragged along her body. She starts with her arms, trailing it up and down. I can hear the porous material dragging over her skin and I'm envious of it.

One of my hands is lightly palming my erection through my pants as I watch her swirl the loofah over her breasts. She sighs a content little sigh and I can just make out her pebbled nipples through the steam. How I long to feel those little peaks in my palms, in my mouth, against my chest as she presses her nude body into mine.

So wrong.

I want her.

Bella continues to wash herself, oblivious to my presence. Once rinsed, she washes the conditioner out of her hair and turns the knobs, turning off the water.

This is my cue to leave, but Alice's words echo through my mind. "Let what happens, happen."

I'm trusting you on this one, Alice.

The door to the shower swings open slowly, steam billowing out. I stand, frozen, as Bella steps carefully from the shower onto the plush bath mat. Water droplets trail down her body and cling to her as though they can't stand to part from her magnificent flesh. I don't blame them.

She grabs a towel from the counter, still unaware of my presence, and unfolds it. As she moves to wrap it around herself, she turns then, and spies me watching her.

She screams and drops the towel.

"Carlisle! What are you doing in here?!"

Her heart is hammering in her chest and she's blushing an incredible crimson on top of the slight pink from the heat of the shower. Quickly kneeling and snatching the towel from the floor, I hold it out to her. She grabs it and quickly holds it to the front of her body, covering herself as best as possible. I have yet to say anything.

"You shouldn't be in here. I thought you were hunting." She's much quieter, but her heart is still racing.

"I couldn't stay away," I reply softly. I'm unsure if she hears me, but her hitched breath tells me she does. And I know that what I've said is true. I can't stay away.

"You need to go. I need to get dressed."

I shake my head slowly. "I'm sorry, Bella. I can't." I step towards her and she retreats, pressing back against the bathroom counter. "I won't hurt you," I say.

Swallowing hard, she nods. "I know. But...but you have to leave. I'm...naked." She blushes harder and tries to pull the towel around her.

Another step towards her. "I don't know what it is, Bella. I've never been drawn to you like the others. Your blood smells so sweet, but that's not what is pulling me to you now."

Her eyes widen. I can't tell if she's scared or in shock. Then she asks quietly, "What is?"

"Last night, I heard you." She doesn't understand at first. "You weren't alone, Bella. I heard what you did."

Bella's eyes squeeze shut in humiliation and she curses under her breath. "You were all supposed to be gone."

"I was here. I was outside Edward's room. Listening. And Bella, your scent...I could smell your arousal even through the door." I'm painfully hard and I take another step towards her as she keeps her eyes closed.

"I never would have, if I'd known someone was here." She sounds like she's on the verge of tears. The steam in the bathroom has started to dissipate and I can see her so clearly. More clearly than ever before. She's absolutely stunning.

"Look at me, Bella." I take the last step forward and am directly in front of her.

She opens her eyes and raises her head, gasping and jumping slightly at my closeness. Her gaze moves slowly up to my face and she looks deeply into my eyes. I know they're completely black with lust. Lust I haven't felt for anyone other than my wife in centuries.

"What do you want from me?" she asks, timidly.

What do I want from her? Do I want her body? Yes. Do I want to feel her quake under me in climax? God yes. Do I want her to scream my name in ecstasy? More than anything else at the moment.

"I want you." 


	3. Chapter 3

"No," she whispers without any conviction. But her body betrays her and I inhale deeply at the first traces of that alluring aroma.

"Yes, Bella." I reach out and lightly trail my fingertips over her damp, bare shoulder. She shivers, from the coolness of my touch or from the shock of me touching her, I don't know. Either way, her body responds with more arousal. "I can smell you."

She snags her lower lips between her teeth, biting down hard. Shaking her head, she says again. "No." Squeezing her eyes shut, she continues. "I can't. I love Edward."

"And I love Esme."

As I speak these words, I know deep down that I can not truly bring myself to cheat on my wife, my mate. But...perhaps there's something else.

"Bella, I want to watch you. I swear to you, I won't touch you, but I need to see you touch yourself." Yes. This will work. Bella will please herself and I'll watch.

Her breath hitches and I see her stomach clench and unclench. That heady, musky scent becomes even stronger. Yes. She's highly aroused.

"No, Carlisle. It's wrong." But her voice has no hint of power to it. She wants to do it.

"Please Bella. It'll be okay. Everyone will be okay." I step back from her, holding my hands up in supplication. "I won't touch you at all. Please do this for me, Bella. Please."

She shakes her head slowly, her mind warring with her body. "Edward will hate me."

"As far as Edward will know, I snuck in on you pleasing yourself. I will take full responsibility." Bella is watching me intently now, so I trail one hand slowly down my body - over my chest, down over my stomach, until I'm palming my erection. I squeeze gently and moan. "Let's go to his room, Bella."

I open the door and after hesitating for a moment, Bella hangs her head and walks past me. I follow her into Edward's bedroom, where she stands facing away from me. Her towel is slung low around her body, exposing most of her back to me. I long to trail my tongue up her spine to watch her shiver, but I won't touch her.

"What should I do?" she whispers.

My erection throbs. "Remove the towel."

I see her tremble slightly as the towel loosens. After pausing for a few seconds, she lets out a shuddering breath and the towel drops to the floor. Her entire backside is exposed to me. Her beautiful smooth back leading down to the flare of her hips, the delicious curves of her exquisite bottom.

I swallow back my desire to take her and say, "Turn around for me, Bella. Let me see all of you."

She's trembling harder and her breath is coming in erratic shudders, but she does as I say and slowly turns, her head lowered, damp hair doing a poor job of concealing her blush. Facing me, I watch in awe as her nipples harden further, and I moan as a wave of her scent hits me. At my moan, she peeks up at me. I smile warmly at her.

"You're very excited, aren't you?"

"Y-yes."

"Sit on the edge of the bed, Bella."

She turns and quickly scurries to the bed, sitting down on the edge. Crossing her arms over her exposed chest and pressing her legs tightly together, she waits for my next command. It's so much more thrilling to be in charge of someone like this than I ever expected.

"Please lower your arms, dear. I want to see your beautiful breasts." I stay near the door, offering her comfort of the extra space.

Her arms drop to her sides, but she keeps her legs tightly together. That's fine. We'll get to that.

I reach massage myself through my pants lightly. "Look at me, Bella."

Raising her head, she gasps, "Carlisle." Her gaze is slightly glazed as she watches me rub myself. Unconsciously, she licks her lips and I groan. She's testing my self-control.

"See what you're doing to me, Bella? You've made me so hard. So hard I can't help but touch myself." I step forward a little, but leave plenty of distance. "Last night, listening to you, do you know what I did?" She swallows hard and shakes her head, her eyes never leaving my hand. "I unzipped my pants, pulled out my erection, and masturbated while smelling you. I stroked myself, imagining it was you wrapped around me, bringing me to my climax." She moans softly, a sound that causes a little fluid to leak from my tip. "Does that turn you on, Bella? Knowing you made me masturbate?"

"Fuck yes," she breathes out.

"Do you want to see me masturbate for you, Bella? Do you want to see how hard you make me?" I step closer.

She nods and her legs spread a little without her noticing. The scent increases.

"Then show me what you were doing, and I'll show you what I was doing."

Almost as though she doesn't realize she's doing it, her hands raise up to her breasts, lightly cupping them. I watch intently as Bella takes her hardened nipples in her fingers and gently rolls them, eliciting a tiny moan.

"Beautiful," I whisper, stepping closer. "Pinch them, dear."

A whimper escapes her as she pinches her nipples, surprisingly roughly.

"Such a naughty little girl, you like it rough?"

I'm awarded with a new wave of her scent spreading through the air. Ah, she likes dirty talk, does she?

"Spread your legs for me, Bella. Let me see your pretty little pussy."

Her head falls back and she lets out a little moan, parting her legs for me. I can see her glistening sex, so wet at the thought of me touching myself.

"Please Carlisle," she whispers.

"What, Bella? Tell me what you want." I move even closer. My knees are a mere foot from hers and I'm nearly lost in the musk of Bella.

One of her hands drifts from her nipples over her stomach, the muscles clenching and releasing with her excitement. "I want to see it," she says, a blush creeping over her skin. So wanton and still so shy. A beautiful combination.

I smirk. "You want to see my cock? Tell me."

She closes her eyes and swallows hard as her fingers reach the apex of her thighs.

"I-I want to see your cock."

It's such a breathy whisper, a human wouldn't have been able to hear it, but hearing those words fall from her lips sends a surge of lust through me and my pants are open and pushed down before she can change her mind.

Her eyes are still closed in embarrassment, so I say, "Look at me, Bella. Look at what you do to me."

As her eyes flutter open, Bella's gaze immediately lands on my swollen cock, watching me with such passion in her eyes as I make a fist around my length and pump it a few times.

"Is this what you want to see? Me jerking my cock for you? Rub your clit." I can feel that I'm losing control of myself. I want so badly to touch her, taste her. But I can't. I know that I can't. I just need her to do it for me. "I want you to rub it and slide your fingers inside your pussy. Fuck yourself for me Bella."

Her head lolls to the side as she does what I tell her. I can't tear my attention away from her fingers sliding over and through her wet flesh long enough to look at her face, but I can hear her breathing roughly through clenched teeth. She's so excited it's almost palpable.

"Such a dirty little girl, rubbing your pussy for your father-in-law. Making me so hard. Making me want to lick that pretty little pussy." My fist is quickly sliding up and down my erection now, and I can hear through her erratic breathing that she is getting close to her climax.

Bella's back arches off the bed slightly as she whispers a steady stream of curses, mixed along with a few "oh God"s and numerous "yes, Carlisle"s.

I moan with her as her breath hitches one last time, a silent cry lodged in her throat as she releases on her fingers. Seeing her lose control and smelling her scent so heavy in the air, I grunt with my own release, three strong spurts spilling over my hand, dripping onto Bella's thighs from my position so close to her. I don't know when I got so close, but I'm in such dangerous territory.

I step back as she collapses back on the bed and I grab her towel from the floor. I quickly wipe my semen from her thighs, then my hand. I want to feel bad, but I just don't. And I don't think she does either.

"Thank you, Bella," I say softly, fixing my clothes.

She looks up at me with a lazy smile and replies, "Anytime, Carlisle. Anytime."

With that, I leave the room, and the house. We've both got some thinking to do. 


	4. Chapter 4

After going for a hunt to calm myself down, I paced back and forth, deep in thought.

I still did not feel bad for what I had just done. However, I could not help but wonder how Edward and Esme do when they found out about what happened.

I knew that they would be mad, as Alice had told me. There was no doubt that I would be dealing with more than a few harsh words when they returned home. And what about Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper? What would they think? Well, Rosalie was not exactly on good terms with Bella, so I had an inkling of how _she_ would feel about the situation.

But one thing was certain. No matter what, I could never ask Bella to touch herself for me again. It did not matter if I wanted her to, or if she wanted to do it for me. Even though I felt no remorse for doing so, I did not want to cause problems for Bella and my family. I did not want them to be hurt.

On that note, how will I deal with Edward and Esme when they confront me? I would take full responsibility for my actions, of course. Other than that, I did not know. But perhaps I will find out when the situation presented itself.

Coming to this conclusion, I nodded to myself and ran home.

I could hear Bella's deep, even breathing when I arrived at the mansion. She was asleep. I checked the time and nearly did a double-take. It was now after four o'clock. I did not know that I had been out that long.

Because it was still early, I decided to complete some more files to take my mind off of everything. Of course, it did not work as well as I hoped. My attention would drift when filling out the documents grew tedious, and I would think of Bella. Of her luscious body. Of the strong, heady scent of her arousal...

I shook my head to dislodge my thoughts. Why was I thinking about Bella so much? It was not as if she were my mate. I should be thinking of Esme in this manner! She was my wife after all!

The next few hours passed by without much notice. I was just reading a medical journal when I heard Bella's heart beating faster. Then I heard her yawn and head for the shower.

After about fifteen minutes, she went downstairs to the kitchen. I decided to join her, knowing that we needed to discuss what happened the previous night. I took my medical journal with me.

When I entered the kitchen, Bella glanced at me and blushed. Whether it was because she was embarrassed over what happened yesterday, or because she felt shy being around me now, I was not certain.

"Good morning, Carlisle," she announced with a tiny grin.

She was so beautiful when she smiled...

_Wait...what?!_ I demanded of myself.

"Good morning. How are you?" I inquired in a faint voice.

She shrugged. "I'm fine, what about you?"

I made a face. "Not too bad, I suppose."

Bella nodded and turned to the waffles and bacon that she was preparing. I sat down at the table.

Once her breakfast had finished cooking, she sat down to eat. I found myself watching her and tried to refocus my journal. But it was not easy. My eyes kept turning my head to gaze at her.

Why was I so drawn to her?

Bella noticed me staring at her and reddened again. "What? Is there something on my face?" she queried.

"No," I responded truthfully. "I was thinking about something, and did not know that I was looking at you," I lied. "I apologize."

"Oh. It's okay."

I gathered my shaky wits as she finished her meal. After she had, Bella washed her dishes. Then she made to leave the room.

"Hold on, Bella. I need to have a talk with you for a moment, if you please," I stated.

"All right," she murmured, perching on the chair directly across from me. "What's up?"

I sighed deeply as I leaned forward. "I have been thinking about what we had done last night."

She inclined her head. "I know. I have been thinking about it too. Oh...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. Go on."

"Thank you," I remarked kindly. "As I was saying, I have been thinking about what we had done, and I have come to the conclusion that we should not do it anymore. Now-" I continued, holding up my hand as she opened her mouth. "I know that you told me 'anytime' after I thanked you yesterday, and perhaps you wouldn't mind doing it again. However, we can't. It is too dangerous, and I am afraid that I am in enough trouble because for what we have done. Edward and Esme are going to find out about this somehow. Alice had informed me of this, even though she had told me to let what would happen to happen."

Bella peered at me in shock before nodding a minute later. "Yeah, you're right...it is dangerous," she sighed, looking remorseful about the situation for the first time. "We should never have touched ourselves for each other in the first place. Oh man, Esme and Edward going to hate me..." she moaned in despair.

I took her one of her hands in mine. "No, he won't. I have told you that I would take full responsibility for everything. I don't want Edward to think that it was your fault. I don't want his wrath to be centered on you as well as me either."

"But I wanted to do it too, even though I didn't admit it at first! It is not just your fault. It's mine, too."

"Nonsense. You would not have agreed to do it if I had just left you alone," I argued.

"Perhaps so, but..." she protested.

I cut her off by raising my hand once more. "Trust me, Bella. I have everything under control. You will have nothing to worry about. I promise."

When Bella realized that I would not change my decision, she huffed. "Fine. Have it your way," she muttered. "But I don't know how I will keep this from Edward. I am not saying that I regret what I did. I don't feel guilty about it at all. But I would regret hurting him. Him and Esme. I never wanted to to that. I love them, especially Edward."

Exhaling deeply, I bobbed my head. "I understand how you feel, my dear. I do not regret what I have done either," I admitted. "However, I don't want Edward or Esme to be hurt, for I love them too."

"Then you are right...no matter how we feel, we can never do touch ourselves for each other again. We must not do it for Edward and Esme's sakes."

"Yes," I agreed, feeling oddly sad about doing so. It appeared as if Bella did as well.

She stood up. "Well...I guess I'll just go upstairs to Edward's room and watch a movie or something."

"All right. I have a few things that I want to look into, so I'll leave you to it. Have fun."

Bella waved and left the kitchen. I remained in my seat, thinking our conversation over.

There was no doubt that Bella was right about what she had said. Nevertheless, I would not let any of Edward or Esme's anger to be directed toward her. I did not want her to get hurt. She was already upset about betraying them, and so was I.

I moaned and buried my face in my hands. What had I gotten myself into?

Well, whatever it was, there was no backing down now. I would just have to deal with it. _I_ was the one who had put us into this situation, after all.

Sighing tiredly, I went back to my office.

For the rest of the morning, I kept myself occupied with any work that I needed to finish. Bella stayed in Edward's room and did not leave it. Neither of us spoke to each other. It was probably just as well that we didn't, though. I did not want to make the situation worse. Besides, I could not think about her with my cock growing hard. It was already difficult to keep myself in check when I was near Bella.

By twelve thirty, I had filled out the last of my paperwork. I listened to hear what Bella was doing. She was still watching TV in Edward's bedroom. Her heartbeat was steady and her breathing was normal. It sounded as if she were all right.

I put my documents away and looked for something else to do. The paperwork was completed and I had already finished reading my medical journal. I read my emails to see if I had any important emails, but there were none. No one called from the hospital...it must have been a slow day.

My eyes had just settled on a novel that I had not gotten the chance to read when my cell phone rang. I answered immediately.

"Carlisle, you need to get to the Canadian border quickly!" Alice declared frantically. "Edward and Esme found out about what happened, and Edward is furious! He is trying to leave for the house, but Emmett and Jasper aren't letting him. I don't know how long they will be able to hold him, so you need to come here right now and try to sort everything out! If Edward does manage to escape them, it won't be pretty. And if Bella sees you and Edward getting into an argument or a fight, it will scare and devastate her! I've seen it. Hurry Carlisle, please!"

**(A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!)**


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm on it!" I announced.

I hung up the phone and ghosted to Edward's room. Bella answered the door after I had knocked.

"Yes, Carlisle?" she queried.

"Bella, I just wanted to let you know that have to go out for a while. I'll be back later," I responded.

She nodded. "Okay, but why? Is something wrong?"

I wanted to lie to her, but I couldn't for some odd reason. "Alice called to tell me that Edward and Esme found out about what happened. I have to calm Edward down before he loses control of himself."

Her jaw dropped in horror and dismay. "They did?! Then, take me with you! It might help if I go too. I can always manage to settle Edward down."

I shook me head. "No. Edward is terribly angry right now, and I have no idea of what he is going to do when I see him. If he lashes out at me, I don't want you to be in the line of fire. I don't want to run the risk of you getting hurt. I want you to stay here where you will be safe."

"But Carlisle...!" she protested.

I grasped her shoulders. "Bella, _please_ do as I ask. I will feel better knowing that you are here."

She peered at me intently for several minutes, then nodded with reluctance. "All right. I'll stay. But what about Esme? Is she upset too?"

"Alice didn't mention if she was, so I have no idea."

I hugged her for a second and moved away. "I'll make sure to call you. Or if I am unable to, Alice will."

"Okay. Please be careful."

"I will certainly try to."

After saying this, I waved to her. Then I ghosted out of the mansion, heading in the direction of the Canadian border. When I reached it less than a half an hour later, I was confronted by a scene of utter chaos.

Emmett and Jasper were holding down Edward as he tried to fight them off. It was apparent from Jasper's expression that he was attempting to calm him down, but it was not working. Alice had been watching them along with Esme and Rosalie, but ran over to where I was standing.

"Carlisle, I'm glad you came just in time. I was afraid that Edward will overpower them. Please try to explain everything to him. He might hurt Jasper," she remarked in a pleading voice.

I nodded and made my way over to the struggling group.

Edward spotted me as I approached them. "YOU!" he bellowed, glaring at me with hatred. "YOU! YOU WERE PLANNING TO SEDUCE MY SOUL MATE! YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF BELLA, YOU SON OF A BITCH! LET ME _GO_!"

"No, Edward," I stated quietly. "I have no intention of seducing Bella, now or ever. I could never do that...Esme is my mate, and my wife. I love her with all of my heart and soul. I do not feel for Bella as I do Esme. I did not take advantage of her either. I will admit that I walked in on her while she was having a rather private moment. I knew that I should have left the room when I had, but I did not. However, trust me when I say that I had never laid a finger on her.

"What I had done as a result of staying there is entirely my fault. It was my fault for giving into my weakness. I do not blame you for being furious with me about this. I deserve your anger, and even your hatred. I am solely responsible for my actions, and I apologize for them and for what I did."

Edward growled. "_Apologizing won't make it any better! I can't believe that you would do that to me, to Bella!_ _What the hell were you thinking?!_" he demanded in rage.

I peered at him morosely. "That was the problem, son. I was _not_ thinking...not in the way I _should_ have been," I implied.

"_That was obvious! Emmett, Jasper, let me **go**!_" he shouted.

"We will after you calm down," Jasper declared.

"Chill out, dude," Emmett added.

"_Fuck that! I want to get him for what he did to Bella_!"

Esme held up her hands in irritation. "That's it! I have had enough of this! Edward, calm down _right now_, do you hear me? I will not have you talking to your father in that manner!"

He shot her a mutinous gaze, but did as she told him. Emmett and Jasper released him, but watched him with cautious eyes.

When she was certain that he was not going to do anything, Esme focused her attention on me.

She sighed deeply. "I do not know what to say, Carlisle. I don't even know how I feel about this," she murmured after a while.

"I understand what you mean. I do not know what to say either...other than that I am extremely sorry for what I had done. I promise not to ever let it happen again. You have my word," I vowed.

Esme pursed her lips. "What made you do it?" she inquired in toneless voice.

For a moment, I gave no response. Then I whispered, "I have no clue, Esme. For reasons that I can't explain...I felt a strong attraction to Bella. I wanted her, without knowing why I did. I could not understand why, when it was so _wrong _to. But I meant what I said when I told Edward that I do not have feelings for her. I can't when I already love you more than anything."

"Do you still feel that attraction towards Bella?"

I opened my mouth to say no, but then I closed it. How could I say that when...perhaps I did? Lately, I had been unable to stop thinking about her. And half of the time, those thoughts weren't exactly innocent...

Suddenly, Edward growled. My head shot up as I noticed him lunge at me. Emmett and Jasper dashed forward and caught him.

Esme took in the scene with wide eyes, then gazed at me once more. Realization dawned in her expression. "I see," she mumbled half to herself.

And I could see that she did. Taking her hand, I said, "But it does not matter. What I feel for Bella does not mean anything. It will never change the fact that I love you, Esme. And I couldn't be attracted to her for very long, not when _you_ are my soul mate."

"I love you too, Carlisle. But I do not know how I feel about your being attracted to Bella enough to touch yourself to her."

"I understand," I remarked in a low voice.

Closing her eyes, she bowed her head. She was obviously thinking this over. After she opened them, her face was quite calm. "Well...if your attraction for her ever grows stronger, then I will step aside. All I would ever want from you is to do what you think is right, and to follow your heart," she proclaimed.

"But Esme...you are my soul mate...I could never desert you in that manner...I love you..." I tried to reason with her.

"Mom, how could you say that when Bella is _my_ soul mate...?!" Edward yelled in outrage.

Esme fixed him with a penetrating stare. "Then it would go down to how Bella feels at the moment, and what she wants. And if she does choose to act on her feelings with Carlisle...if she is also attracted to him, that is...then you will also have to let her follow her own path. No one can choose it for her, not even you. It will be hard, but if you love her, then you will have to let her go if that time ever comes. She will resent you if you try to hold her back."

Edward drooped, but I could see that he understood her.

Then Esme glanced at me. "I still do not know how I feel about this. I know that I should feel enraged, but...I don't know. I just need to come to terms with all of this. Perhaps we should have some time away from each other until I do."

I wanted to argue with her some more. But I knew that, for her sake, that it would have to be so. "All right, Esme. Take all of the time that you need, then. If, by any chance, you feel differently towards me, then I will understand that as well. And whatever you decide afterwards is your own choosing. I just want you to be happy, no matter what," I said.

She nodded and smiled a little. "Thank you for understanding, Carlisle. Well...I suppose that I will stay here for a bit before I go home. I'll see you later."

"Enjoy yourself, my dear."

Esme inclined her head and ran out of the clearing. Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper followed after her. Edward headed for the mansion.

I was left with Alice. We gazed each other for a couple of seconds until I stepped forward.

"What do you think that I should do?" I queried.

She was about to reply when her eyes became unfocused; she was clearly having a vision. After it was finished, she peered at me solemnly. "All I can say is this...do what you think is the right thing to do. Follow your heart. Everything will be worth it in the end."

And with that, she trailed after Esme and the others, leaving me to my jumbled thoughts.


	6. IMPORTANT NEWS!

**Author's Note**

I have good news. I had published my book this morning! It took a while to do it, but I finally did. If you are interested in buying it, go to , click the Bookstore tab and put The Chronicles of Josie in the search bar. If you read it, I hope that you enjoy it! I

I will also try to update the story ASAP. I am not finished with it, so don't worry. As they always say, the show must go on!

~Iridescent Bellisle Cullen (I.B.C.)~


	7. Chapter 6

I just stood in the same spot for a long time, mulling over what Alice had told me.

Follow my heart...

Do what I thought was the right thing to do...

What did it mean? Was something going to happen between Bella and I, something that I did not know about yet?

And what about Esme? What would she decide to do in the future? Would she think that my attraction to Bella was not a threat to our relationship and stay with me? Or would she believe that it was, and choose to part ways with me?

I could not know this for now. Only time would tell.

Sighing deeply, I ran home. I had to make sure that Bella and Edward were all right.

Although the trip back to the mansion was no more than a half an hour long, it seemed much shorter. It was likely because I had a lot on my mind still.

Pretty soon, I was dashing out of the woods and standing before the house. Edward and Bella's voices drifted out to me from his room.

"...Bella, I need you to tell me the truth. Did Carlisle touch you? Did he hurt you or take advantage of you in any way?" Edward demanded pleadingly.

There was an irritated sigh. "For the last time, Edward, _no_! He just walked in on me while I was masturbating and started to do so himself. That's all," Bella remarked.

He groaned. "Well, why didn't you stop him? Why didn't you ask him to go away?"

She did not answer at first. Then she mumbled, "I don't know. I...I just don't. I guess that I just wasn't in my right mind."

"What the hell do you mean that _you_ were not in your right mind?! I could see through Alice's thoughts that Carlisle was not, but _you_? I expected a different reaction from you, Bella! What were you _thinking_? How could you do this to me?"

"I'm _sorry_, Edward. I didn't mean to hurt you by not doing anything. I had no intention to hurt you either. But what happened just...happened. I don't know how else to explain it."

Again, there was silence. I walked inside and headed upstairs to where they were. I crept over to Edward's door and peeked through it. If Edward noticed my presence, he did not say anything about it. He was too focused on Bella to pay attention to me.

He exhaled deeply moments later, considering Bella's response. "Are you certain of this, Bella? Do you think that you _can_ explain it, but you are just too afraid to?" he inquired in a low voice.

"What do you mean?" she asked with a frown of bewilderment.

Edward shifted from one foot to the other. "Well...did you...did you not stop Carlisle because you...you felt some level of...attraction...to him?"

Bella could only stare at him in disbelief. However, there was also...was it fear and uncertainty?...in her eyes. "E-Edward...why would you ask me something like that? You know that they only person that I am attracted to is you. I could never feel drawn Carlisle in that way! He's your _father, _and I always felt as if he were my father too!" she pointed out, her voice rising an octave.

Red-hot pain clenched my heart and wrung it. That statement hurt me in ways that I could not understand...and did not think possible. It...it was as if I almost wanted her to be drawn to me.

No, cross that. I _really_ did want her to be. I wanted her to be very terribly.

But why? She wasn't even my mate...

"That does not answer my question, Bella," Edward said, interrupting my thoughts.

She opened her mouth to argue, but froze. It was as if she had been struck speechless.

Edward's face crumpled in pain and despair. "You _are_ attracted to him, aren't you? You must be...you can't even answer my question. Bella, please...are you? Don't lie to me...tell me...if you are, I will step aside...I will leave and stay away from you..." he gasped.

"NO!" Bella cried, wrapping her arms around him. "Edward, I am attracted you, and only you! You are my soul mate, my true other half! I love you!"

He removed himself from her gently. "I know that you love me, Bella. I know you do, and I love you too...but I can tell that you feel something for him. I can see it in your eyes. I may not be able to read your mind, but you know that you always make your emotions or how you are feeling so obvious."

"Edward, please...listen to me for a minute...let me explain..." she begged.

"You do not have to explain anything to me. I understand everything clearly," he murmured dejectedly. He kissed her on the lips, then backed away. "I need to sort all of this out, and until I do, I think that we should put our relationship on hold. Have some time away from each other."

"No. Edward, don't do this! Don't go."

"I'm sorry, but I must, even though I don't want to."

"Why?!" she questioned in anger.

"Because this time apart will give you time to think about the situation as well. It will also give you a chance to decide what you want to do about your attraction to Carlisle. You clearly are drawn to him.

"If you choose not to act on how you feel for him, and want me back, you know that I will be more than happy to be with you again. However, if you do choose to act on your feelings...I will understand and step aside. I will not like doing it, but I will do it because I love you. I just want you to be happy and to do what you think is right in your heart."

Edward turned and left the room. When he saw me standing by the door, he whispered in vampire speed in a voice too low for Bella to hear, "If you want to be with her, then go ahead. This is an opportune time to make your move if you wish to. I will not harbor any hard feelings towards you if Bella feels that she wants you, and vice versa. And if you do end up together...if ever...just make her happy and protect her. I love her."

I inclined my head. _I know that you do, son. But do not get ahead of yourself. She may choose you, for all you know, _I thought to him.

He pursed his lips, but did not comment. He ran down the stairs and out the the house.

Bella sped out of his room and followed him, completely oblivious to me. "Edward, come back! Please, come back! I want you! You are the only person I want, and ever will! I love you! Please, don't go! You don't have to!" she called to him tearfully.

"Yes, I do, Bella. It will be better for us if we do...trust me," Edward declared.

"No, it won't. There's no point in leaving when you know that I want to be with you. Don't go."

"I'm sorry, but I have to."

"No, you don't! You just think that you do! Stop being such a jerk and listen to me for a minute, dammit!"

"As I told you a minute ago, I have already figured out what I needed to know. It is unnecessary to discuss the situation any further."

"That's bullshit, Edward! It _is_ necessary and you know it! What is it about this situation that you don't understand? It's obvious that I want to be with you! Please, just stay here. Don't leave...EDWARD! COME BACK!"

I could hear Edward's footsteps ghosting away.

"EDWARD!" Bella shouted.

There was no response.

"_EDWARD_!" she repeated, this time louder.

When it became apparent to her that Edward would not answer her, Bella broke down and cried in utter abandon. I unglued myself from where I was standing and went outside.

She was hunched on the ground, her face in her arms. I knelt in front of her and laid my hand on her hers. She gave a startled jump and looked up.

I wiped away her tears. "Bella, sweetheart, you shouldn't cry like this."

"Yes, I should. I _must_ cry. Edward's leaving me again, and this time it might be for good. And if it is, I don't know what I will do. I couldn't bear it if he left me a second time, Carlisle! I just couldn't!" she wept bitterly.

"I do not think that he will leave you. He loves you too much to do that," I murmured.

Bella shot me a pointed gaze. "He did it before. Nothing can stop him from doing it another time."

Unfortunately, she was right. "That is true, but the last time he did, it nearly killed him, and had him killed. He won't be in a hurry to do it again."

"How do you know that he won't?"

"Because he loves you, as I said."

She crossed her arms. "All right, but let's just say that Edward _does_ leave. Won't the rest of you go?" she inquired.

I shook my head. "No, we will not. All of us made the mistake of leaving you the first time because Edward wished us to do so, and we are never going to do it again. If I can be honest, it was really my fault that we did. I believed, as he did, that it would be safer for you if we left. That you would be able to go on with your life without us putting you in some form of danger. Of course, I was wrong. If I had known that our leaving you was going to be as harmful for you as it was, I would have stayed here. The rest of the family may have also.

"But we are going to stay with you this time. You are a part of our family now; we cannot abandon you. If Edward decides to go, then that will be his choice. He may do as he pleases, but he will not be able to convince us to follow after him. However, if any of my children or Esme want to go with him, then that is also their decision.

"One thing I do know is that _I_ will remain here. I won't let you suffer as you did when Edward left you the first time. I cannot. I care for you too much to let that happen again. I know that if he leaves, it will devastate you, but you know that you can always talk to me or one of my children if you need to. If they stay, they will be there for you, and so will I," I stated with feeling.

Choking on a sob, Bella cried, "Oh, Carlisle...!"

And suddenly, before I know what was happening, I felt her warm lips on mine.

Bella was...Bella was _kissing_ me.

(A/N: I actually didn't plan for Bella to do that at first, but the idea popped up in my mind, and I thought it would be a nice way to end the chapter. Anyway, **REVIEW AS ALWAYS, PLEASE?** Thank you! And if anyone wants to check out/purchase the book that I published, _just PM me_ and I will give you the information of how to do so. See ya!)


	8. Chapter 7

I was glued to the spot as Bella's lips moved against mine. I did not respond, just stared ahead in mind-numbing shock.

Bella was kissing me. Really, truly kissing me.

My inner beast roared with wild triumph and joy inside of me. It was as if it were celebrating. As if it this was what was suppose to happen.

Then, before I knew what I was doing, I started to kiss her back. Her lips did feel rather good.

Bella must have realized what was going on then because she hastily backed away from me.

"Oh, my God," she gasped. "Carlisle, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that, I swear! Please don't be mad at me! It was an accident...!"

I placed a finger on her lips to interrupt her. "Don't worry. I am not upset with you for kissing me. Truthfully...I rather liked it," I admitted.

I might as well be completely honest with her. Now that both of our relationships were practically "on hold", it was safe for me to be.

She was completely taken aback, and I did not blame her. "R-Really?" she inquired.

"Yes. In fact," I went on, deciding to go the whole hog. "I liked it so much that I...I would like to kiss you again."

Bella turned to me with wide eyes. "You do?"

I nodded. "You have no idea of how much I want to."

Her face reddened. It was obvious that she did not know what to say about that.

Laying my hand on hers, I whispered, "Would you like to kiss me again too?"

"Uh...well..." she faltered.

"It's all right if you don't want to. I don't want you to feel as if you should because of what I want," I remarked.

An appreciative smile spread across her face. "No...it's not that I don't want to. It's just that I don't know if we should. What if Edward comes back and see us? Or what if Esme or the others do?"

Sighing deeply, I responded, "Well, Edward is giving you time to figure out what you want to do. And Esme...she wants us to have some time away from each other so that I can do the same. Figure out what I want to do, I mean. My other children know this. So therefore, it is safe for us to do whatever we choose to do with each other. At least, it is for now."

"Esme left you too?" Bella demanded in horrified shock. "Oh, my God, Carlisle. I'm sorry! I feel like this is all my fault."

"Don't feel that way, sweetheart. If anything, it is mine. I should not have approached you the other night. If I hadn't, none of this would have happened at all," I pointed out.

"But I should have told you to leave. I should have been more firm with you when I said no..."

I gazed at her evenly. "But you did want to do it. Otherwise, you would have had been more firm."

She looked as if she were about to argue with me when she caught herself. An odd expression flickered across her face.

I inclined my head pointedly. "Exactly."

Frowning, she turned away from me. I could tell that she still believed that everything was her doing.

Exhaling deeply, I took her chin in my hands and made her look at me. "Bella, listen. I understand why you feel the way that you do. Trust me. But what Edward and Esme have decided was purely based on my actions.

"I am not saying that the attraction that you feel towards me had nothing to do with Edward putting your relationship on hold. But after what I did, he _did_ have a right to confront you for not making me leave you alone. And he had a right to find out if you were attracted to me because of it. But as I said, he would not have done so if I had not approached you in the first place."

When Bella still seemed thoroughly unconvinced, I murmured, "Think about it."

She hugged her knees to her chest and narrowed her eyes pensively. The longer she stayed quiet, the more I could see that she realized that there was a good bit of truth behind my words.

Nevertheless, it was obvious that it did not make her feel any better. Then again, I was not too happy about what I had done either, even though I did not regret it.

I just hoped that she would not blame me for everything that had happened. But I would not be surprised if she did.

After a while, Bella exhaled deeply. "I suppose that you are right in a way. Still, I feel as if I had betrayed Edward. What if he never forgives me? And what if Esme never forgive you? What if they hate us?"

Rubbing her back comfortingly, I sighed also. "I am sure that they don't. They will find it in themselves to forgive us...in time. At least, I hope that they do. They just need some time alone to sort all of this out, as Edward said. They will come around eventually. You will see."

I was silent for a moment, then asked, "Bella, are you angry with me because of everything that has happened? If you are, I understand. I am responsible for any pain and sadness that you feel."

"Well..." she began. "I know that I should be. Anybody in their right mind would be more than angry with you. They would be furious. But for some reason...for some reason, I'm not furious with you at all. I'm just furious that Edward left me without letting me have a word in edgewise. But I don't know why I am not angry with you...unless it's because I don't regret what I did in the first place?"

"That is a pretty good theory. Perhaps that is the reason. But I don't know if it is anymore than you do," I said. Then I laid my hands on her arms. "This is going to be a rough time for both of us. But know matter what, everything will be all right in the end. Alice told me that it would. The situation will clear up and we will all be happy again. I promise."

Bella must have believed me; she finally smiled. "Well, if Alice said that, then I trust that everything will. She would know that it will better than you or I would."

I chuckled. "Yes, she would."

We shared a laugh before growing quiet once again.

"So what do you think that we should do? I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not attracted to you. I am, but because I love Edward, I know that I shouldn't be. You are obviously attracted to me too because Esme would have left you if what we did was just a one-time thing."

"Yes, that is true, and you are very likely right about that. I have already admitted that I am indeed drawn to you in a different way than I am to the others. I have no idea why, but..." I stopped speaking, not wanting to say what I was going to next.

She cocked her head to the side. "But what? You can tell me," she added when I still did not answer her.

Turning away from her, I stated, "But I would like to figure out why I am. There must be a reason why I feel the way I do about you...I know that there has to be."

I looked around to see her digesting what I had told her. Minutes later, she appeared to have come to a decision about something.

"Hmm. Maybe there _is_ one...we just don't know what it is yet. And since you want to find out why you are drawn to me...I wouldn't mind letting you, I guess. Since Edward and Esme are leaving it up to us to find out what we want, this is more than a good time to. Neither of us have anything to lose by me giving you permission to do what you want."

Raising an eyebrow, I queried, "Are you certain that you want to do this? You do not have to just because of what I desire..."

And suddenly, before I could finish my sentence, Bella kissed me with passion. I laid my hands on her cheeks and kissed her back.

I supposed that that was her answer.

As if to confirm this, Bella murmured, "Yes. I am certain that I do. I feel the same way about you, after all. Why don't we just find out why together? As I said before, we have nothing to lose by doing so. When we finally see what the reason is, we can think about what we can do from there."

"That sounds reasonable. When would you like to start doing this?"

"We can start anytime you please. This was _your_ idea. But if you want to start sooner than later, I don't mind. I have all of the time in the world."

I bobbed my head. "Good. I actually would like to start soon. The sooner, the better. Just let me know if I am moving too fast for you, in case I start to."

With a laugh, Bella stood up. "Don't worry, I will if that ever happens. You can count on that. And now that you mention it, do you want to continue at the pace we were going? Or do you want to start from the beginning and get to know each other all over again?"

Pursing my lips, I replied, "I am not sure yet, but I will certainly think about it until I come up with a decision. For now, let me fix you something to eat. With everything that is going on, I know that you _must_ be hungry."

"Truthfully, I am. Let's go." She started to walk over to the house.

I threw out an arm to stop her. "Hold on a minute, Bella. There is something that I want to do first."

"What's that?"

Taking her face in my hands, I bent down to kiss her. She kissed me back as I moved my lips against hers. Seconds later, I slid my tongue into her mouth. I had to taste her. I _needed_ to.

And I was not disappointed that I had. She tasted so deliciously sweet that I thought that such a taste could only be found in heaven. I had to admit that even Esme did not taste this good. I hated to, but I did.

Bella must have thought that I tasted just as good. She glided her tongue along mine before darting it into my mouth. She explored it hungrily, moaning as she did. That moan nearly drove me crazy.

Eventually, I had to break to kiss so that she could breathe. I gestured to the mansion, and we both went inside.

(A/N: **PLEASE REVIEW!** What do you think that Bella and Carlisle should do, in regards to how to set their pace? Let me know! I would be grateful for your opinions on this!

I am also thinking of changing the story's title to Follow Your Heart. Let me know what you think of it, please. I won't change it if you don't want me to.)


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